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Couple Sleeping Separately For 7 Years, And Now They’re Happier


Couple Sleeping Separately For 7 Years, And Now They’re Happier

science proves that couples sleeping in separate beds have better sleep and happier marriages.

More couples are opening up to the idea of sleeping in different bedrooms and it’s not because they argue a lot or because of their kids, but just because they like it that way. For other couples, sleeping together might seem like a big deal, but it’s not.

In fact, when you set your own rules in your marriage, you might encounter stereotypes that might make you think you’re doing it all wrong. You decide to sleep in separate rooms or don’t go to vacations it’s all fine as long as you’re both happy.

Despite being married, each spouse is a unique person with a completely different sleep schedule from the other. It could be due to different career demands or even different pass time activities that may infringe into the other’s sleep time.

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Either way, it is important for each individual to get a good night’s sleep, however, due to the problems that are caused by sleeping together, it’s almost impossible to get the recommended six-7 hours of sleep. As a result, both individuals end up more irritable, tired, and nervous.

How history and science explains it

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Previous generations understood the benefits of sleeping separately. In Ancient Rome, a bed was only meant for sex between the couple, after which each individual went sleep in their own separate bedrooms. In Great Britain during the Victorian era, people also didn’t sleep together. In Russia, before the Revolution, the aristocrats also had different bedrooms.

Therefore, the tradition of sleeping together appeared during the industrial revolution when people started moving into cities. Small apartments didn’t leave much of an option for couples who decided to sleep in the same room to save on space. Paul C. Rosenblatt,  professor of sociology in his book called Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing came to the conclusion that sleeping together often leads to the development of psychological problems and can even cause insomnia, or some other disorders.

The scientist interviewed dozens of married couples and found that the bedroom is often the “center of tension in the house.” spouses often argue over little everyday things, like if it’s okay to let pets in the bed, or if it’s normal to eat or smoke in bed.

Besides, there are a lot of conflicts that start because of snoring, watching TV, fighting for the blanket, or a glowing mobile phone screen. According to the professor, in most cases, the problem can easily be solved just by sleeping separately, but people can’t fight the stereotype that sleeping together is far more natural.

Psychologists also argue that for men’s psyches, the necessity to share the bed with someone is an irritation. It is in their nature to protect the place where they sleep from a possible enemy. So, when there is someone next to a man at night, he can’t fully relax. 

The horrors from forums for women

There is still a very popular opinion that different beds for a husband and his wife is the first sign that there is something wrong with their marriage. Or, different blankets is the first sign and different bedrooms if the most obvious signal that this relationship is doomed.

Old stereotypes about sleeping together are still deep inside us. Some people will definitely remember this: don’t go to sleep until you make peace. For most people, this is the right thing to do.

The examples of celebrities

As it turns out, a lot more people in the US prefer sleeping separately. A study showed that about 31% of people who were asked, would prefer sleeping separately. This result was consistent with a National Sleep Foundation survey that reported almost one in every 4 American couples sleep in separate bedrooms or beds.

 many celebrities admittedly prefer sleeping alone. For example, George and Amal Clooney choose to sleep separately. The reason is that George snores very loudly and Amal’s sleep is never very deep.

© AP/East News  

Besides, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas also decided to sleep in different bedrooms. Catherine once said that she didn’t want to look unattractive in front of her husband, so she and Michael agreed to sleep separately. This could be the reason why the couple has been happily married for over 19 years.

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It seems that separate rooms not only allow couples to sleep well, but it also makes us more independent because every person wants to be alone sometimes.

 The fact that two people love each other doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to sleep in the same bed. When it comes to sex, and sleep, those are 2 completely unrelated things. after all, we have a habit of coming into each other’s bedrooms before sleep, kissing each other, and saying goodnight. 


But with everything its important to consider that all couples are different and there is no such thing as one right answer on how to build a family life. If you are uncomfortable and you know exactly how to improve the situation, talk to your partner.

Make sure that your partner understands that there is nothing personal about your decision, it is just more comfortable for you this way. Ask your partner to try to understand. Maybe if one person in a partnership doesn’t like this idea, you can try to find a compromise, for example, sleep separately a few times a week.

Source: Brightside

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