It’s definitely not easy to keep a relationship alive, because it’s not something that works out alone. Both sides have to be in it together and figure out things that can help it grow and avoid things that can halt it. And actually, enjoy everything about the relationship.
This time, let’s look at yourself in the mirror with this checklist of possible things that may have been the stumbling block in your relationships.
1. What was your childhood like?
People who grow up with love find it easier to show love to others the way they like it. This study on 144 dating couples classify relationship style as ‘attachment styles’ and found out that people with more negative emotions were ‘anxious’ and has experienced being neglected some time in their life.
Lesson: forgive and forget. Your childhood is an important part of you – those scars won’t disappear, maybe to the day you die. But it’s important to remember those people who hurt you are no more here. It’s time to prove that you can be someone better, even if slightly.
2. You like to threaten for it to end.
Which may have actually backfired because most of us never actually wanted to break up with our partners when we threaten them that. We only wanted them to be better for us, for themselves, for the relationship. It could have the constant picking on ‘what you should not do and change’ instead of ‘why I love you and why I want you to be better’.
3. Out of your league.
What we meant out of your league is someone who realistically exists as one in a million. Maybe you are looking for a highly-educated individual with a high-paying salary, a house in the middle of New York and a car. And that person definitely has to be single, not a widow, but a true single.
4. Stuck in the past.
Much like the childhood issues, you may still be stuck in your past with that someone. We don’t know what happened, but anyone who wants to be with you wants to look into the future, not the past.
Let go, cry, but wake up the next day with a smile because there’s someone right here, right now who waits for you.
5. “Am I good enough…?”
You want a relationship that lasts, grow and you are proud of. But that is very unlikely to happen if you don’t think of yourself worthy enough for it. Don’t try to find someone to decide whether you are worth or not. Surely enough, there is someone out there who will love you the way you are.
If you’ve done enough, if you’ve worked hard, know that there is someone out there who accepts you the way you are. Just brave up to open your heart when you find that person.
6. Fear of the future.
Nobody knows what lay in the future, but fear of what may come of a relationship in the future is normal. And that’s great, but don’t let that fear consume your mind. Let that fear keep you on your toes to always set your priorities right.
7. That person is taken.
You know what you’re doing hurts others and eventually, will hurt yourself. There are many love advice out there, but none should ever tell you that it’s okay to try it with someone who’s already tied their knot with someone else. A relationship built upon dishonesty will not last.
Even if the other person is in a toxic relationship, be a true friend that person can rely on.
8. You try to be someone you are not.
Some of you probably have the habit of switching on and off when you’re with your partner. That habit is, unfortunately, something is so integral with our personality that it’s hard to take off. It’s easy to switch the ‘good employee’ mode when you’re in a 15-minute interview.
But this is someone you will be stuck with for the rest of your life, 24/7. There’s no way around that – be yourself and let people love you the way you are.
9. You haven’t changed.
When others try so hard to become someone they’re not, you can be someone who’ve remained the same throughout these years. Maybe you know the reasons your relationships didn’t last, but you haven’t done anything about them yet.
It’s time to change – for the better. And you know these are changes that will make you a better person.
10. You have trust issues.
It seems that more and more people have trust issues these days and that is just a given. Just look at how many people are getting more brazen in cheating, breaking promises and basically disappoint us.
But hey, statistics can prove that there are more truthful people than liars out there. And maybe, your partner just wants you to put more trust in them as they’ve been working hard to gain it.
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